Christian Bernal. Thats his name. He is a 23 year old male that i care for and someone special who sees after me. I can't state that he is my best friend because those are few to count but he definitely has been the one to show he cares. So as i sat thinking about who to interview he came across because he is a father of a very adorable child name khris who will be turning 5 this year. He started just like all teenagers do, by having sex. And of course he did not plan getting her pregnant. So, he did not stay around during her pregnancy, he wanted her to abort because he wasnt ready for a child. He was only 17 and getting ready to go to college just like we all are now. Therefore he kicked her out of his plans. Even though he didnt see her during her pregnancy he mentioned that he believed she was affected in a couple of ways. Through her diet, daily movements, emotions (they were unbalanced, she was moody), and no social life. Financially she was set because she had help and since she didnt go out she would save money. At first i thought this girl was his age, until today. She was 27 and chris was 17!!!! He said, " you have to abort because im going to college and i will not be there for you." Chris did not want the child and kept this a secret. His family was unaware. When they found out they were upset but mostly disappointed. After the child was born he appeared when khris was only 3 months. Even though he felt obligated by being pusshed by others he felt guilty and needed to take responsibility. His life changed drastically. Sometimes christian thinks, "what if i had aborted?' That question isnt valid anymore because he is a proud father. After a while he decided to take custody. The childs mother had anger problems, she wasnt stable, wouldnt take care of him and baby would have rashes here and there. So he fought for custody and won because he was able to offer him a stable life. Christian at the end turned out to be a marvelous father and i am a witness. He learned how to be more responsible and the better value of life. Not only that but he finished collge as well and is going to med school besides holding a job and watching after his child.
Birth in a latino culture can be bad. or unstable. A lot of the men walk out the picture because they arent ready. Exploring birth with chris made me see more to birth than what i knew.
I want to explore the males role during a pregnancy and during birth more.
Anonymous:
This girl that i interviewed is a woman who works with one of my close friends.I spoke to my friend jenee and I mentioned what my task was so she introduced me to her and I was able to interview her. When I asked her how pregnancy had affected her physically she answered that she wasn't able to do what her normal tasks were, she got bigger, gained 10 lbs, and her breasts grew as well. She wasn't emotionally affected at all except for her mood swings. It affected her financially because the baby father was not m akin a lot of money and she had to work to in order to be able to support the kid. Another way the pregnancy affected her was socially. She was not able to go out anymore and had to stay home to watch her baby. In order to prepare herself to give birth she mentioned that she would walk a lot and she took swimming lessons as well. She said, " it was hard trying to stay fit." the baby father would support her by coming to visit her to her apartment. During his visits he would be caring and do little things to make her feel better. Her pregnancy wasn't that hard because she knew people who had kids who helped out. Also, her mom was their to support and would be very calm and gentle with her. There wasn't really anyone who would make things challenging for her. Something that was personal and she did not want to answer was, " what thought and feelings influenced your choice to make a baby?" when the feelings come back to her regarding the labor she says that she is amazed at how much time has gone by and how painful it was that it feels as
Reflection:
After hearing these stories I learned more. The story I found to be more interesting was my friend Christians. The reason I found it to be more interesting was because he was 17 and she was 27. And to me the girl story was kind of boring it didn't spark me since I had heard most of it before. So it was kind of the stereo typical pregnancy. His story left me feeling like Woah.
I liked the last few lines of Christian's story, about how he became more responsible, finished college and is now in Med School. Those are not easy things to do at any age and especially at a young age when there are plenty of temptations to take the easy way out. Life isn't easy without children and it doesn't get any easier with them. Focus and discipline are absolutely necessary if you are going to be successful in life. I am happy to see Christian has those qualities because without them he would not succeed and his child would have an even higher mountain to climb than he does now.
ReplyDeleteMy main constructive comment is on the writing. It is not clear in some places such as how "she was affected in a couple of ways. Through her diet, daily movements, emotions (they were unbalanced, she was moody), and no social life". Also, I believe grammar is important. Small letter I when referring to yourself and no apostrophe in I'm is something I would expect in a casual email but not in school work.
Overall it was interesting and I liked the way you set up the age difference. That was a surprise and kept my interest as a reader.
I really liked the blog, especially the first interview, i was actually quite interested in that one due to the fact that you showed me a different way of viewing birth, instead of stating the normal, it was beautiful and remarkable. You grabbed my attention by explaining the hardships, you showed the reality, not the fantasy. You gave insight on how difficult birth can be when its unexpected. You explained very well how it changed each persons life (the good and the bad.) It was interesting to see how at the end the father turned into a 360 and took responsibility. How one baby, a single human being can alter a situation even if it takes time, how an unexpected unwanted child can can change a persons world for better or worse.
ReplyDeleteThe second interview was also thoughtful, but not as insightful as the first, but i like how it contrasted the first interview, this one started off with the women having a good life, and than when she became pregnant, her life wasnt as great for some period of time, but the cons that you talked about were very realistic, you told us different ways she was affected.
Some feedback would be just to maybe explain some of the cons a little more, mainly for the second interview, and maybe ask future questions like if she would go through the experience again or something in that idea, but overall, it was a whole different perspective that was shown and given to me, but it was a realistic view and it was insightful
i think that those were both two different stories that just about a lot of people go through. for some, they dont feel like they are ready and when they are scared they try to take the easy way out and get rid of it. but at the same time, you have to ask yourself why should i get rid of a life. nobody should be a mistake if it was ment to be then it was ment to be. birth isnt an easy thing to get rid of like anything else. and then on the other hand, a lot of people go through what your second peson went through.
ReplyDeleteat times you loose your social life because now you cant go out whenever you please or have just anybody over. at least for the first couple months. what i learned based off these two stories is that a baby is a life changer and it shifts your life in a direction you wouldnt imagine until it happens to you. even though you are ready or not ready, you still dont know whats ahead and whats going to happen. birth is a powerful level in life that no matter who you are, your gonna experience it one way or another.